A few kayak jokes

[Izzetafox]

How many kayakers does it take to change a light bulb?
9. 1 to change it and 8 to lie about the size of the hole.

Q: What's the difference between a kayak instructor and a Savings Bond?
A: A Savings Bond matures after twenty-five years.

Q:What's the difference between a kayaker and a catfish?
A: One has whiskers and smells bad, and th
e other one's a fish.

Two Inuits sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank...
proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

A blonde driving down a Midwestern highway spots another blonde in a kayak trying to paddle across the top of a wheat field. She got out of her car and calls out to the "kayak" blonde and says, "It's blondes like you, that give blondes like me a bad name! I'd go over there and kick your butt, if only I could swim!"

[fenboystu]

[keithyg]

;D ;D ;D ;D

[Daz]

[greygoose]

very good, I'll use the inuit one and pretend its mine inlaws are snobs and its clever!

[Izzetafox]

At last Chris someone who can recognise quality

[fenboystu]

Hold on a second, i`ll get your coats ;D

[Izzetafox]

It's an age thing I guess.

[HomerJ]

While paddling off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his kayak. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted “Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy “How’d you get rid of the gators?”

“We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ‘em.”

[HomerJ]

The bartender Lars asked Ole, “Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a kayak?” “No, I don’t,” said Ole. “A kayak will sometimes tip,” explained Lars.

[HomerJ]

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce Indian tribe. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a kayak. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.”

The Frenchman says, “I take ze poison.” The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, “A pistol for me, please.” The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, “God save the queen!” and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over. There’s blood everywhere, it’s horrible.

The chief is appalled, and screams, “What are you doing???” The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, “So much for your stinking kayak!”

[HomerJ]

Three old men are sittin’ in their kayaks fishing a cove on a quiet Sunday morning when a funeral procession drives by. One of the old men takes off his hat & puts it over his heart. The procession winds its way around the cove and disappears over a hill. The old man puts his hat back on and continues fishing. One of the other old timers says “Geeze Ed, that was a thoughtful thing to do.” Ed replies “It was the least I could do after 49 years of marriage.”

[HomerJ]

Well if they didnt make you laugh , at least it pushed my posts up Coat got , put on and walking out door!!

[Izzetafox]

I feel a lot better now that someone else has posted some excellent jokes too......

[HomerJ]

Its the way I tell 'em

[Daz]

i cant tell my jokes on here....id have to ban myself

i have had to warn you Terry ;D .....Bad jokes

[greygoose]